DOST NA NA

Movie Review: Dostana

Rating: 2/5

Miami, in the sunshine state called Florida, is what you could call the city with all the tempting trappings. White sands, turquoise blue sea, swaying palm-trees, al fresco eating joints, fast cars, swank pubs, and wild partying. It is a city that symbolizes free spirit. Producer Karan Johar uses the perfect backdrop to bring to desi girl and boys of India, the still hushed whispers of a taboo subject—-homosexuality, in a commercial entertainer. Epitomising the hunky queens are Abhishek Bachchan ( playing the bahu) and John Abraham , bulging biceps, V-shaped contours and a tight ass in yellow underwear , the man on top. Playing the captivating , spoilt-sport is the full-mouthed, heavenly sculpted Priyanka Chopra, exuding the kind of sultry sexiness that could create a lesbian movement. Men have competition from all sexes, am sorry to report.

The lesser talked about the facile plot the better. Two marooned bachelors looking for a pad pretend to be gays , so that the land-lady feels secure that her niece Chopra will not have someone sneaking into her lingerie. Considering Chopra is in a continuous state of showing her divine possessions , it is not long either before the silly pretenders give up the grotesque tomfoolery and begin to play games to win her susceptible heart instead. The problem is that there is the standard hurdles, and last-minute glitches. Including a boring intrusion in the form of a single parent essayed with languid listlessness by Bobby Deol. The moment Deol makes a grand spectacle of himself as the fourth angle to the expected script , with an irritating kid in tow, the movie nosedives. The tragedy for Dostana is that Deol comes in just before the interval. Worse, he stays till the end, appearing in intermittent intervals with a blank smile and a lovelorn look , a face and body language that could do with some zingy vibrancy. .

Bachchan’s “ fairy-tale” ( pun and fun intended) concoction about the Venice love-story with John is truly creative. As is the sensitive subtlety when Bachchan deftly lets his emotions roll in a photo album, while John takes his secret object of affection to a private viewing of Kuch Kuch Hota Hai in a park. It is in these tender moments that Dostana shows that besides the groin and loin jokes, it has a heart as well.

There are the usual jokers in the pack; Boman Irani , as Chopra’s gay boss with a penchant for instant gratification is hilarious. Kiron Kher does a wholesome repeat of the hysterical OSO mom-act who must accept that her son loves driving in reverse gear and loves a bum deal.

Dostana is a two-in-one film ( pun intended); pre-interval, you love the general cacophony, the growing friendship between young buddies, the goofy jokes, the songs. Director Tarun Mansukhani is in his Miami shorts up to this point. The second half is a complete let-down, which even a “ drag” queen would not approve of. It is not just a small fall, it is an Amazonian drop. Pity!

Shilpa Shetty , Incredible India’s tourist destination for must-see long legs, gives Dostana just the kind of cool, casual start you are looking for as a hot item. The songs are catchy and while Jaane Tu is deliciously infectious and Desi girl is rollicking, it is Kabhar Nahi , with it’s lovely lyrics , great beat and background hum that will have you bowled over.

What works for Dostana is Bachchan and Abraham letting it go and enjoying themselves, albeit they do look an odd couple. Priyanka Chopra plays herself in those sexy shorts and short tees , the golden swim-suit and glowing expressions adding spice to her caramel tan . The much dramatized smooch scene between the brawn and the prawn in the end is so ridiculously forced, it makes you cringe. For a mainstream film attempting juvenile humour about gay behavior that should actually have been a high point; we should have been tongue-tied with amazement. Instead it as flat as kissing your sister perhaps.

At the end , when Chopra chooses the cheesy sentimental nerd Deol as her knight in shiny Armani , you are tempted to empathise with Bachchan and Abraham with the 1970s favorite, “ Usme kya hai jo mujh me nahi hai”. Really!

Watch it if you must. The DVD is recommended though, because at least there you can watch only the first half and replay it. And then, of course, there is Priyanka Chopra. Homosexuality may be out of the closet, but Chopra is worth keeping in your own private collection.