Pop Patriotism of the Page 3 variety

There are a couple of vocal women in Mumbai whose claim to fame these days is “ pop patriotism”. Here is a brief check-list to identify them :

1) They talk, talk and talk day in and night out.

2) They get withdrawal symptoms when they do not see themselves in the papers, forcing them to write similar columns in multiple city supplements.

3) They are constantly constipated thanks to too much air-kissing , and will use hinglish words to give the cool desi flavour

4) They always enter parties late, and hang around where the shutterbugs are located, a plastic smile ready for instant clicking.

5) They love saying “ Mumbai rocks”, because for them the suburbs begin in Worli.

6) They are usually complaining about Sonia Gandhi, because while they frequent Page 3, Mrs Gandhi is on the front page.

7) They are anti-establishment on everything , and would love to blame PM Manmohan Singh even for the death of Elvis Presley. Of course, their little poodles pooh all over the sidewalks.

8) All of them are huge fans of Irfan Khan, Nanadan Nilekani, MS Dhoni, Narendra Modi and Laloo Yadav. It is fashionable to have a favorites list comprising of all sorts.

9) They are hypersensitive to criticism, and will bark and bite back with relish to further be in the news. They secretly solicit Bollywood, even as they give those condescending vibes.

10) They are usually so used to getting freebies, they might just walk away with your mobile phone or the ash-tray by a casual accident.

11) They are all self-promoted authors of pulp fiction read by a minority of utterly depraved individuals with severe masochistic tendencies.

Can someone please tell them —Enough is Enough!