SWINE FLU AND SHASTRI JI

SHASTRI JI PRANAM!

“Breaking News: The Prime Minister Manmohan Singh attends office in North Block.” ” Shah Rukh Khan goes for a shoot.” If you read such pieces of atrociousness on TV, you would probably have a nonplussed expression. How is an individual’s prime responsibility of such great importance that his mere visit to his professional headquarters or vocational location should generate so much unnecessary hullabaloo? Well, it happens in our world of Indian cricket.

Ravi Shastri  who now officially heads the National Cricket Academy , supposedly the tallest infrastructure of cricketer grooming in our country apparently made a much-hyped and haloed visit to Bangalore where NCA is located and suddenly that is the singular  news item of the day. Now logically, shouldn’t he be parked there for several months looking at amelioration of cricketing standards, selecting coaches, holding refreshers, instituting intra-academy tournaments, investing in mental conditioning , creating a talent pipeline, and touring the national interiors? Or is he merely a titular head ,  another one of BCCI’s magnanimous “settings” to ensure unfair PR coverage and have an in-house lobbyist? Your guess is better than mine.

Instead, Mr Shastri makes a royal visit a la-Prince Charles on a polo-field  and the NCA is supposed to bend low feeling  privileged to have his emperor’s presence. What a farce! Can someone please share the minutes of the transpired discussions and let the fans know just how many hours has Shastri spent there since assuming “charge” if you can call it that?

WADA-POW-WOW!

Every Mumbai newspaper has expectedly punned the WADA ( the World Anti-Doping Agency) with the city’s trademark native sidewalk favorite ” wada-paav”.  I was thus expecting some earthy words of profound wisdom from some of our famous ex-cricketers and some others on the doping controversy  who otherwise are ready to drop deliberate bomb-shells on celebrity cricketers , make pseudo-patriotic sanctimonious statements , write self-righteous columns and thereby sustain that ” appropriate image”. Funnily, they are right now eerily silent—No Comments! No one wants to upset Big Brother BCCI, you know. What happened, Sirs? At least, one constant nemesis of some  Bishen Singh Bedi has uttered simple axioms of life that our cricketers need to think about .

That is why I feel ex-cricketers will never make it to administrative positions of real responsibility; they are essentially pipsqueaks , chicken-hearted and have deep-rooted vested interests which is easily decipherable. One man who stands out amidst the shameless genuflecting in the chicken-farm is Dilip Vengsarkar. The Colonel is a stubborn rooster.

PAT THE CASH

I wish the ICC chief executive Haroon Logart had been more straightforward and clear in stating that he feared that slush cash would soon have cricket flushed with deep embarrassment of match-fixing if  systematic controls are not effectively established soon. The age of politically correct monotonous speeches is over, Mr Logart ( please refer to Silvio Berlusconi and Barack Obama , if you please). In his talk recently he was actually referring to the IPLs unbridled access to speed money  but he chose to behave like a shy bride instead,   relying on subtle innuendos , unlike a Rakhi Sawant grab till you brag style . It is like pointing fingers at the murderer from the witness box but refusing to call him so.  This is silly old-fashioned practise of diplomatic dumbness. I have been a huge critic of the Texan cowboy George Bush but I admired his shooting from the lip excesses  ” Wanted-Dead or Alive”. Logart could do with some time spent in Georgey’s summer-time ranch.

FROM ASHES TO ASHES

The Ashes have suddenly sprung to life after Australia’s rather insipid crumbles and drab collapses at Lord’s. Albeit England have looked sharper, it is clear that the mighty Oz, suffering from serious paroxysms of jittery pride looked acutely vulnerable. That they are back in contention is a tribute to their sheer obduracy to resist capitulation even in the face of inexorable adversity.

The final Test now marks the finishing line, and from the first ball expect a tough contest and a bitter do or die attitude even from the usually phlegmatic Brits.

In the meantime  I just saw some Breaking News which stated that our cricketers ( including Sachin Tendulkar ) have stated that they will refuse to do any tests if they are suspected to have swine flu as they do not want their privacy to be invaded. Such tests manifest a constitutional impropriety , added the BCCI President Shashank Manohar. Prof Ratnakar Shetty was speaking something about security et al when I switched channels.